Dear readers: I have a weird question to ask. I’m reluctant to ask anyone I know personally in case I sound like a fool, but I’m genuinely in need of an answer. I’d rather not spend hundreds of dollars on bananas for no reason, let alone drive around in a car full of them. On the flipside, if what that guy said is true, it’d probably work out cheaper than paying a professional auto electrician. 

Let me back up. You see, I’ve been having this ongoing issue with my car’s battery. Sometimes it works and other times it’s temperamental, and I only got it replaced last year so it really shouldn’t be doing that. Now, I realise I could pay to speak to a specialist in car servicing and repair. Bentleigh has plenty of mechanics. I just feel like I shouldn’t have to pay for advice on this when I’ve done all the right things, including replacing the battery. 

Anyway, I got chatting to this guy in the health food store while we were both waiting for the peanut squashing thingy to get cleaned out, so we could get our peanut butter. It was pretty clear to me that he was a mechanic, albeit a slightly eccentric-looking one. He didn’t say that in so many words, but no one in their right mind would be dressed like that for any other reason. So I figured I’d slip my electrical troubles into the conversation, in hopes of getting an insider tip.

What he told me was the wildest car advice I’ve heard since I asked that waiter about brake repair near Moorabbin that time. In retrospect, I have my doubts that that waiter was, in fact, an undercover mechanic, as I’d believed at the time. I have my doubts about peanut butter guy as well. Anyway, he told me there’s an electromagnetic force field around this part of Melbourne, which can only be neutralised by filling your car with bananas – the older and slimier the better.

That, my friends, brings me to my question. Should I follow this guy’s advice, or was he having me on? Please help.