So, the old show was a bust. As it turns out, people don’t really WANT to act in a musical about conveyancers. I tried talking to actual conveyancers, but they were busy. You know, with their jobs. Honestly, haven’t people heard of sacrificing it all for art?? It’s what I do, every single day, for my whole life. My whole life.

So I need a new angle, a way for the world to see my artistic genius and heap praise upon me, along with adoration and possibly even a few choice flowers, roses perhaps. Then I’ll gather them up and wave to all of those who appreciate my vision. Ooh, how about an app development course? No, not for me. I mean we can build an entire musical around the concept! What’s more trendy and applicable than apps? Nothing, I tell you. They are the pinnacle of human civilisation. How has no one made a stage production about them already?

I can see it now: the curtain lifts on a university classroom, where app development is in full-swing. But what’s this? The title character, Dorabella, is afraid of the immense potential. What if she makes something so very good and successful it buries her under mounds of internet cash, like the creator of Sweetie Smoosh who must surely be drying their weeping eyes with mounds of money? Dorabella hesitates. She’s onto something great. It will be called Farm-Town, and it will replicate the process of farming for all to enjoy and share incessantly with their friends. She’s about to click the button that will submit the app to her tutor…then we have our first musical number, Farm-Town Funk. It’s going to be big, full of dazzle and funky vibes, and also digital imagery. What will Dorabella do? How will it end??

I don’t know, I haven’t written it yet. But it’s going to be huge. And what a great idea! Why am I not doing an app design course around Melbourne? I have such great ideas.

-Aubrey