Funny how we move on from fads. Everyone was so excited about The Push Wakes Up, and then it was Cat-Man vs Superb-Man, and now it’s all Colonel Canada: Uncivil Fighting. And then when fire was invented, not that I was there, but I bet everyone was really excited before just sort of forgetting about it. It’ll be the same forever, so that’s why I’ve decided to just never get excited about anything ever again. It’s just so repetitive, and I’ve got better things to do with my life. Like how Mum bought an oven off the internet for super cheap, and she got really worked up. I told her not to. Next day, we had the Sydney electric oven servicing people in, naturally, and the repairs cost more than the actual oven because of course you can’t expect to just get an oven from some shifty guy’s back garden for $30 and expect it to work.

That’s definitely an extreme example, because anyone could see that was going to end in tears. But I think even if I got an oven that was shiny and new, or a dishwasher that was straight off the television and promised to load, wash thoroughly and put the dishes away, I wouldn’t be excited. Even the best ovens need servicing. All those metal arms that load and unload the dishwasher just mean more things to go wrong, and besides, you can’t trust a robot with the fine china because robots are idiots. See what I mean? People get genuinely excited about keeping house and all that, and some pour their whole lives into a building…but stuff in that building goes wrong. It has to. Nowhere’s perfect. So if you just live in a place with the expectation that things are GOING to go wrong, you’re emotionally invincible. It applies to life. So you can keep your fancy Smeg oven, but better keep the people in Sydney who do Smeg repairs on hand, because appliances will fail you. Houses will fail, everything fails…people? I’m still mulling them over.